Just in case YOU didn’t know…
You’ll come to a point in your relationship wherein you evaluate yourself, Paano ba ako maging girlfriend? There will always be moments that your significant half will make you feel less than what you should be. Parang may pagkakataon na I am just that Franze Alyssa who left him, not because she wants to, but she has to. It was never my choice. Hindi ito hugas-kamay, just some of the things that I have done and still doing to keep you with me.
Wala akong boobs, wala akong “damn” ass, hindi ako maganda, di ako maputi, mahaba lang yung buhok ko, because you said you like girls with long hair.,right? I have the worst posture. I stand like an 80 year old. There will always be people who’ll ask you “why her?” I am not a 10, maybe I am just a 5. Be thankful, because you don’t have any rivals. Hindi mo kailangan magpagwapo kasi di naman kagandahan girlfriend mo. Kasi, trabaho ko na yung pagpapaganda, para di ka mapahiya o para di ka mawala. I assure you, na kahit pawisan ka, di ako titingin sa iba. Kahit na wala kang abs, I will still love you.
Hindi mo kailangan matakot kapag aalis kayo ng mga kaibigan mo, kasi papayagan naman kita (hindi mo kailangan magpaalaam,). Ang gusto ko lang naman, malaman na okay ka. Kahit isang ping lang sa BBM, di ako yung tipo na manghihimasok sa barkadahan niyo. Makikisama, oo, pero di kita papipiliin, because I know they have a special place in your heart, Gusto ko lang talaga malaman na okay ka kahit nasa galaan ka.
Kung maglalaro ka ng Dota, ayos lang. Di naman issue sa akin yun, Kung lag ka, edi ibaba mo yung skype. Again, I will never make you choose, because it’s already in your system even before I came in your life.
I am also not that girlfriend who will ask you for long goodnight/goodmorning messages. And hell no, you don’t have to be sweet, knowing that you woke up is enough for me. Hindi ako yung babae na maghahanap ng bonggang effort mula sayo, yung kailangan may balloons pa and banners, not gonna ask you to make yourself look like an idiot in front of many people. Kasi kilala kitang mahiyain.
When there is something wrong, I will tell you exactly what the hell is wrong with me or with you. I will be honest because I want to spare you the difficulty of reading my mind. Hindi ka manghuhula. Damn I know we are old enough to play hide and seek with our feelings. Kung magalit man ako, magsosorry ako in the end, kasi nakakastress yun diba?
I can actually move mountains just to be with you again. I will spend money for a call card just to call you when I am at work, and I don’t care how much airtime it would cost. I could learn a whole new book just to give you ideas for your research paper. I could actually write all your papers for you to have enough sleep. JUST ASK. I will wake you up just to remind you that you need to take your medicine, even though I know that you’ll get mad at me for interrupting your sleep. I will remember all your due dates, for your assignments, papers, projects or a family member’s birthday, just in case you forget. I will listen to all your problems, and feel bad because I am not with you to hug you.
Just in case you didn’t know, you don’t have to compete when it comes to my heart. You have a very secured place. I will remind you everyday of how much I love you, kung may pagkakataon man na may nagawa akong mali to make you feel that I don’t. I love you so much, okay? Hindi naman nagbago yun, just in case you didn’t know.
This is how you lose her.
You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.
You must remember when she forgets.
You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.
She remembers when you forget.
You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.
You must learn her.
You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.
You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.
And, this is how you keep her.
- Black guy kills some people.
- News: Criminal.
- Muslim guy kills some people.
- News: Terrorist.
- Latino guy kills some people.
- News: Criminal.
- White guy kills some people.
- News: Mental illness. (lost soul, complicated psyche, quiet loner, misunderstood, frustrated with life, experienced recent, traumatic, life-altering events that set him off; not to mention all the positive descriptors that are attached to him, i.e. intelligent, PhD candidate, honor roll student, etc.)
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